Week 21 - Surrender and Self-Control
Law 1: The Law of Sowing and Reaping. When we sow good, we will most likely reap good. When we sow bad, we will reap the consequences. This cause and effect teaches many to learn from their mistakes, but there are codependent people who tend to want to rescue their loved ones and interrupt the law of sowing and reaping. As a result, their loved ones never truly learn the consequences of their actions. Sometimes, it’s more loving to let people reap the consequences than to step in and rescue them every time.
Law 2: The Law of Responsibility. Similar to the first law, the law of responsibility says that you are responsible for yourself, just like how I am responsible for myself. Someone who respects the law of responsibility would say, “I will love you by letting you own your responsibilities. I will not take them from you because they are yours to grow into and own.”
Law 3: The Law of Power. You might not always have the power to overcome your addictions and shortcomings, but you DO have the power to admit to your problems. You also have the power to surrender to God, the power to seek out those whom you have injured and make amends, and the power to forgive those who have hurt you. You are not completely powerless, but your power comes from a place of self-control and surrender.
Law 4: The Law of Respect. I’ll just take the definition of this one right from the book. “We need to respect the boundaries of others. We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours. If we love and respect people who tell us no, they will love and respect our no. Freedom begets freedom.”
Law 5: The Law of Motivation. When you do good for others out of the fear of loss of love, fear of loneliness, guilt, reciprocation, approval, or obligation, go back to the law of motivation. This law says that freedom comes first, and then service. Your service to others should be an overflow of your love for them and your gratitude towards God. If you’re serving out of fear, guilt, or any of the things mentioned earlier, you aren’t walking in freedom.
Law 6: The Law of Evaluation. Not everything that hurts us harms us. Confrontation hurts, but it’s better to share our feelings with others than to harbor bitterness against them. The law of evaluation is all about seeing the pain of confrontation, honesty, and transparency in a positive light.
Law 7: The Law of Proactivity. Some people go ballistic after decades of complying, and the people around them never see it coming. The truth is that they have been neglecting their own needs for too long, allowing anger to seep in until it turns into a full blown victim mentality. As quoted from the book, “Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose, and what they stand for. [...] [Proactive people] have gotten past the reactive stance of the law and are able to love and not react.”
Law 8: The Law of Not Envying. The authors of Boundaries said, “Envy defines ‘good’ as ‘what I do not possess,’ and hates the good that it has. [...] Envy is a self-perpetuating cycle. Boundaryless people feel empty and unfulfilled. They look at another’s sense of fullness and feel envious. This time and energy needs to be spent on taking responsibility for their lack and doing something about it.”
Law 9: The Law of Activity. As described by the book, “The sin God rebukes is not trying and failing, but failing to try. Trying, failing, and trying again is called learning. Failing to try will have no good result; evil will triumph.” This law advises us to be active and take positive steps towards change. By signing up for these guided meditations, you are doing just that.
Law 10: The Law of Exposure. Our boundaries need to be communicated with others, especially if we are close to them. It doesn’t help anyone for you to set secret boundaries out of fear. Rather than secretly resenting others for crossing your secret boundaries, make those boundaries known in a loving but firm way, and stick to the consequences that you’ve set in case anyone trespasses those boundaries.